I planned to post a few interviews with fathers sometime in 2020. But, as with many things lately, life happened! My schedule had severely changed with the coming of our third son, the pandemic, and working from home. A number of personal projects needed to take a backseat. Oh, and I have many stories about managing family life with my wife Cha! Having three young boys is a handful! But those stories need to wait. Thankfully, I found some time recently and now I am posting the first in a series of posts about fatherhood with this interview with Pastor Caloy Diño.
Who is Kuya Caloy Dino?
Kuya Caloy Dino served with several Christian organizations in the Philippines: Far Eastern Broadcasting Company (FEBC), Global Filipino Movement, and at the Center for Community Transformation. Prior to entering full-time ministry, he was a marketing consultant and worked with some of the top companies in the Philippines. He is married and has three kids.
He and I worked together on projects several years ago for Christian radio station FEBC and with other initiatives and social media training for churches and Christian organizations in the Philippines. We also got together regularly with other like-minded folks, sharing stories and ideas on how to make the world a better place.
In this video, we talk about fatherhood and the challenges of raising kids, juggling time for work, ministry, and family. Enjoy!
Notes on the Conversation
Because of the need to work and provide for the family, Pastor Caloy sometimes needed to be out of the home early in the morning before the kids wake up. Then he would arrive late at night when the kids are asleep.
His faith played a big role in helping him cope with his role as a husband, father, and provider. He and his wife share a common faith and that has helped them weather the storms of life.
As an overseas Filipino my wife and I agree that one of the challenges we face is being away from family. We used to be together with my wife’s family a lot! But in the USA, we’re by ourselves most of the time. We have found friends who can help us in need, but it’s just not the same.
Pastor Caloy was able to build close relationships with members of their church, who became like family. He cites an adage: “It takes a village to raise a child.” We need the lolo, lola, tito, tita, and friends in raising kids.
Approaches to Discipline
As fathers, we need to differentiate when the children have some discomfort and not feeling well or they are willfully testing us and our authority.
Make sure we are not angry but that we are doing it out of love and for their good. “We have to guard our children… we have to make sure we are not angry. We are doing the act of disciplining them in the spirit of love, knowing that what we’re doing is for the best of the child.”
How do you control anger, especially directed to your child?
Family background and approaches to discipline when we were kids have an impact on our own approach to discipline. But expressions of anger can have a traumatic impact on kids. The emotional pains can be deep. And it can lead to seeds of hate in the kids, which can manifest as anger towards you as a father. When the kids are teenagers or older, treat them as adults and talk through issues.
Where to find Kuya Caloy Dino:
- Video Blog: Faith Matters, Too: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC566FWunVbLjpY5k0ErBaLw
- Life Discovery Blog: https://caloydino.com/